Awful Advertising

I was watching TV the other night at a friends house and I was literally dumbfounded by 2 commercials back to back.
I don’t know what these advertising geniuses are thinking when they put together these campaigns, but I don’t feel like they’re giving the viewing public much credit.


3 things that made me go “wha???” in less than 60 seconds


#1 – The Coors Light Cold-Activated Can
“When the mountains turn blue your beer is cold!” Gee thanks, Coors Light. Prior to this amazing technology I had no idea how cold my beer was because I wear mittens 24/7.
I’ve got to be honest, I’ve been grabbing 12-ounce cans for almost half my life now (most all of them soda), and I don’t ever remember saying to myself. “You know, I wish there was a better way to know if this drink was cold. Touching it is so annoying.” As it turns out, like 99.99999% of the population, my hands have the ability to detect temperature by the transfer of heat to and away from them. And considering I have to actually touch my beer to drink it, it’s usually not much of a hassle.
Are we that bored by technology that this is the best we can come up with? Maybe next they’ll invent a better way for me to tell that my toast is done other than looking at it.
#2 – The Coors Light Tagline
Sorry Coors, I don’t mean to pick on you, but check out this beauty:

Refreshment isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.

Wow.
First of all, no one ever said that refreshment WAS everything. So thanks for knocking down that straw man. Imagine sitting around with your buddies and one of them takes a swig of his beverage and says, “ahhh. refreshment is everything.” My question: would you punch him in the face, make fun of him for the rest of your life, or both?
Second of all, refreshment is the only thing? Really? If anyone out there is going through a really difficult time in life right now – lost their job, relationships crumbing around them, dealing with a major illness – do me a favor and drink down a tall glass of your most refreshing beverage. If quenching your thirst makes all your problems go away and fills you with permanent joy, then i stand corrected.
#3 – The Zales Sale
Zales is running a sale where the more you buy, the bigger the discount you get on your jewelry. Not a new idea, of course, but I couldn’t help but laugh when the voice in the commercial exclaimed:

The more you buy, the more you save!

Yeah we all understand what they’re saying, but take a look at that statement at face value. It’s preposterous.
How about this instead: “The more you buy, the more you buy”
Or maybe, “The more money you spend on jewelry, the less money you have.”
No wonder most of this country is up to their eyeballs in debt.
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There’s got to be a ton more out there.
What commercials drive you up a wall?
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