How to really lose a guy in 10 days!!!

You’ve seen the movie (c’mon don’t lie…we know you did), but you can’t remember a thing about it.

Have no fear, here’s the real list on how to lose a guy in 10 days.

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS

Day 1 – Cry all day for no reason. If the crying doesn’t get him, the fact that there’s no reason for it will.

Day 2 – Take a Dump in his guitar, or whatever else he holds near and dear to his heart. This can work with a home entertainment system, a sports car, or a Macbook Pro. (And don’t go that whole “girls don’t poop” routine because we know y’all can drop bombs with the best of them. There, I said it.)

Day 3 – Mimic him like a 6-year old. It’s unbearably annoying when your kids do this for 5 seconds, imagine the torture of listening to an adult do it for an entire day. “imagine the torture of listening to an adult do it for an entire day.”

Day 4 – Tell him how attractive his friends are. And if you’re really feeling it, blow up a picture of his best friend and hang it like a poster on your side of the bedroom. This will really boost his confidence.

Day 5 – Wear his rival team’s gear. If Lily walked around the house in a Green Bay Packers uniform all day, my brain would explode in a confused mess by lunchtime. (be careful with this one…if there were any hardballs lying around the house, I might subconsciously fire a fastball under her chin to send her a message without even realizing it.)

Day 6 – Get the Kate haircut. Kate plus 8 can rock the reverse mullet. You can’t.

Day 7 – Tell him he’s wicked gross. Don’t elaborate or get specific, just tell him he’s gross. From birth until 5th grade this was the highest compliment a girl could give a guy. From 6th grade on, it’s the biggest insult.

Day 8 – Adopt 12 cats. It gives me the chills just typing it. I’d rather have ants, termites or rabid wolverines in my house than cats.

Day 9 – Go on a Home Shopping Network spending spree. Watch 12 straight hours of HSN and order multiple items of every other product. Preface every purchase with comments like,  “We TOTALLY need that solar powered shiatsu armpit massager” and “I have ALWAYS dreamed of owning seven Esteban classical guitars!”

Day 10 – Don’t Believe in Him. When Lily affirms me (in word or action), it makes me feel like I can run through a brick wall while writing the next great American novel and juggling 10 flaming porcupines. Nothing deflates a guy quicker than feeling like he’s got no support system, so tell him he ain’t got you babe.

Daily Devotion

Genesis 3:4-6

The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.

Temptation makes you dissatisfied with God's plan for you!

What Satan said was not completely a lie (see v. 22). So what was wrong with it? What was the temptation? He was encouraging Eve to want more than God had given her—to want what was not right.

He did this by stirring up pride in her—"you will be like God", and by appealing to her physical desires—"good for food…a delight to the eyes."

Pride—the desire to be popular, to be liked, not to be thought weird—has led so many people to compromise their spiritual convictions. And physical desire—sexual opportunities, overeating, laziness—distracts us from God and makes it easy to desire and even justify what God doesn't allow in our lives.

Someone has said, "The essence of temptation is the invitation to live independently of God." Feeling tempted? Get your focus back on God!\

Daily Devotion

God's Plan of Restoration in Your Life 

"He will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light." Job 33:28

On the night of Jesus' arrest, Peter denied Jesus — three times! In spite of Peter's lack of loyalty, Jesus extended an invitation of mercy to him and said, "Come and dine."

There on the shores of the Sea of Galilee after His resurrection, Jesus came to Peter and prepared a table of restoration. Can you imagine what was going through Peter's mind? Guilt and gladness, fear and fascination, wonder and worship — a kaleidoscope of emotions! He could not believe that he was being invited to the table of the One he had deserted just days before. And not only was he being invited but restored!

The depth of Jesus' covenant love is not exhausted when we sin. There is forgiveness and restoration.

Read this account of restoration in John 21:4-19. Rejoice over God's plan of restoration in yourlife.

Daily Devotion

Genesis 2:16-17, 3:1

The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die"…

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?"

Temptation challenges God's Word!

Temptation can come from Satan, or from the secular world around you, or from your own inner sinful nature. But no matter where temptation comes from, it always has one thing in common. It challenges God's Word.

Temptation attempts to take our focus off God and get it onto something else. For Eve, that something else was the delicious-looking fruit. For you it will be something else. And it'll be something different today than it was yesterday.

If you allow yourself to become fixated with that thing, your attention will be taken away from God and His Word. You'll find yourself walking down a path that leads away from God.

Today, when you notice something stealing the focus in your life away from God, whether it's a form of entertainment, an ungodly action or something else, God wants you to walk away from it and focus on Him.

Random thoughts from the Bathroom

With the new age of digital texting and computers, have we seen the last of the formal skill of writing in cursive? I remember spending years perfecting my own style of cursive. Whole chunks of time in school were devoted to perfecting your cursive handwriting. But in the age of iPhones and laptops, is it really practiced still? Should we still spend the educational time to train students in a dying art? Or train me because I couldn't write it if I tried... Will we see less and less of the written word and more of the digital word? Like it or not… it’s here.

Daily Devotion

2 Timothy 2:3, 10

Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus…For this reason I endure all things for the sake of those who are chosen, so that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus and with it eternal glory.

Don't forget what the battle is about!

The battle is about what God is doing to draw more and more people to turn to Him for forgiveness and a new life empowered and directed by Him. That is what God has been working for in this world all along. It is the reason why He has not brought history to a conclusion yet. It is why He has left you on earth instead of taking you straight to heaven.

God wants you to know that He wants to use you today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, to help the people in your life move towards Christ. As you pray about your day today, focus your prayers, not on your wants, but on your relationships. Ask God to use you in those relationships to help those people take one small step closer to Him today.

Then look for God's answer as you spend time with people today. Look for any chance to have a spiritual conversation, to talk about what God means in your life, or how He has changed your life, or something you learned from Scripture this week.

Senior High Hume Lake

 

Ok so this is my first year going to Hume lake. I hear it is amazing, I mean you can go snowboarding, snow tubing, broom hockey, base jumping, there all kinds of food, staying up late w/ fiends, ride a machined bull, and so much more. But for me it's much more deeper then all of that. I'm going praying that God gets a hold of our young people at Ampd Youth Group. We have a great group of kids in this youth group. Now not all could make it and that's ok, but God really is weighing heavy on my heart this week for the kids b/c I believe it's because God is about to do some really awesome things in this Youth Group.  God wants us to be ready so we can be apart. Trust me I'm looking forward to getting crazy w/ the kids and doing all the fun stuff as well. I just KNOW and BELIEVE that God is going to radically shake our kids to the core and they will leave Hume on FIRE for Him and forever changed!
My Prayer List For Senior High Hume Lake
Everyone returns safe
Lives are Changed!
That the Kids will develop a heart for WORSHIP!
student leaders will be born!
Lasting Memories
and finally that I would be able to get some SLEEP!

So parents join me in praying for our youth this trip, and let's expect to see great things to be done!