Dear loved one,
I’m writing you to let you know how much you mean to me, and I’m hoping you start to see yourself the way I see you. There is a lie out there that says your self worth equals your performance plus others opinions. I want you to know thats a lie! If your thinking that you need to be approved of by certain people in order to be valuable, then let me free you from that. If you fear rejection, let me help you. Your worth is not found in the approval of others, once you were alienated from me but now through my Son Jesus I have accepted you fully and desire a relationship with you. I mean this.
Sincerely, God
Were taking the next few weeks here to look at how God sees us.
It is something I think we really just pass over, we know how we see ourself and I think we carry that view over and think the way we see ourself is the way God sees us.
we learned last week that it came down to two different things. Performance- The ability to meet certain standards, and Approval- other peoples opinion of you and being approved by certain people.
And this is all fine when you perform well and meet the approval of others. But as soon as we lack in any of these two areas then your whole self-esteem is in the tank.
We see that these two things really determine how you see yourself. Last week we looked at Performance
We saw that the answer for the Lie was Justification. Where God takes the banner of sin and separation and gives you His attributes.
When you step into a relationship with Jesus we give Him our sin, and then he gives us His righteousness, and he sees you righteous. That is who you really are in Christ!
How God sees you is who you really are. Any standard that needs to be met has already been met by Jesus and you are fully pleasing to God in Christ!!
This week is like a prequel/sequel Approval. Approval addiction is so huge in our culture today. In some level so many people struggle with this.
I have struggled with this as well. When I first became a Christ Follower I had these certain views of myself based on what others have been telling me and the way they have viewed me.
I saw myself dirty, as someone always in trouble, etc..... And I went on this quest to try and be approved by others and I based my self worth off of others opinions of me.
This is how it is a prequel before we get caught in the performance trap it’s the fear of failure. Failure of not being able to measure up and that is the Approval trap.
The fear of rejection most times drives the Approval addiction. And this can send us into a life where we are all about trying to please people.
Paul was aware of this:
Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
It’s a bold statement but he was aware that if in life you have a choice that you can try and please God or man. But you can not do both.
For some of us who have bought into the lie that we have to be approved of by certain people including God in order to be valuable, we need to learn to value the unconditional constant approval of God over the conditional approval of people.
I’m not sure where you are at with this but like last week I have a questionnaire for you to gauge where you are at and to see how far you bought into this lie. And if the fear of rejection has a handle on you
Rate these in your head on a scale of 1-10. 10 being that is me, 1 being that is not me
- I often avoid certain people
- When I sense that someone might reject me, I become nervous and anxious
- I’m uncomfortable around those who are different then me
- It bothers me when someone is unfriendly to me
- I’m shy and unsocial
- I’m very critical of others
- I find myself trying to impress others
- I become down or hard on myself when someone criticizes me
- I always try and determine how others think of me
If you would answer 5 or higher on any one of those you have in some level bought into this lie that you need the approval of others to be worth something and to feel good about yourself
None of us like to be rejected and alone, loneliness is a big issue in our world today and it’s not only outside the church but it is a big factor in the church
A recent study at a Bible Conference was put together by a poll and 92% of the Christians at this conference said they were lonely and it was a major issue in there life!
If you are someone who deals with this fear of rejection you might play it out one of three different ways.
- You put off this supper cool exterior but you don’t let people know who you really are because in your thinking if people really knew who you are then they would reject you, so you need to put a false front up
- Some may totally withdraw from people, in fear of being rejected
- Or you say yes to everything to try to please others
That was me, when I became a Christ follower I would do anything to try and be approved by others. If that meant over extending myself to where I was exhausted then I would in fear of being rejected by God and others.
Where are you?
The problem with approval addiction running our lives is that all of your attitudes and actions in life are dictated by other people and not by God
This is very exhausting!!!
So what is God’s answer to this? What is His remedy?
Here it is........ Reconciliation
Reconciliation- restoring a friendship or once you were my enemy but is through some form of reconciliation you are now my friend
Colosians 1:21-22
And although you were formerly alienated and hostile in mind, engaged in evil deeds, yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach--
When you step into a relationship with Jesus it not just that our banner of sin and separation got exchanged.
Justification explains the facts of our salvation, reconciliation describes the relational part of our salvation.
Yes we got to give our sin to Jesus and now through Him we are made righteous in Gods eyes, but reconciliation says it all in the context of this relationship, this eternal bond
Your salvation is not just your ticket to heaven, it is a relationship that the God of the universe says loudly “I except you, I approve of you, and I will never reject you!”
Once I was an enemy of God but because of what Jesus did on the cross taking the punishment that I deserved and that righteousness being transfered to me, I am now made a friend of God!!
If you are a Christ Follower today you can sit here and say with total confidence that you are completely excepted by God
1 Peter 1: 3-5
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
This approval is something that will never ever fade
Romans 8: 38-39
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Nothing in all of creation that can get God to a point to reject you or not approve of once you have this RELATIONSHIP with Jesus!
Ephesians 1:13-14
In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation--having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God's own possession, to the praise of His glory.
Once we realize that we are in Christ and that is who we really are then we realize that, that is all we really need!
We are sealed into this relationship based on what Jesus did!!
Know this that we were able to give our sin to Jesus and through Justification Jesus gave us His righteousness and now we are reconciled through Christ and we no longer are enemies against God but are ushered into a lasting relationship through reconciliation!!!
Just like justification does not give you a free pass to sin and live how you want to live. The same goes for Reconciliation! A true understanding of Justification and Reconciliation will cause you to want to live for God’s kingdom and not your own.
Let me put it this way...... If I was to lie, cheat, or treat my wife Lily in a way that would hurt her and not say that I was sorry and change my ways, our relationship would crumble. But because I Love her and desire a lasting relationship with her when I do screw up I quickly apologize and try and change my ways in order to have a lasting relationship with her. It is the same with God.... When we have a clear understanding of what was accomplished on that cross, it will cause us to have that same reaction with God. We will want to have a lasting established relationship with Him!!
Stop seeking Approval from everyone..... understand that In Christ we are made friends of God
learn to value the unconditional constant approval of God over the conditional approval of people!!!!
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